In this post, I want to share my personal experience in what has helped me to move forward in life…
Compassionate Witness
When I first began to questions my existence and purpose as a young adult, I headed myself over to a psychotherapist. My life was good, on the outside things were bright, and I knew that my life was blessed. Yet something deeper was calling me and I didn’t know how to connect to my life’s longing. I didn’t know how to sort through confusing thoughts and feelings.
My first step: I found a person who listened and asked me questions. This woman was somebody who really gave me time and consideration. In exchange, I paid, and this was a healthy balance. My sharing was real and expressed, and it felt great to be acknowledged. To have someone help me discover my own path from my own curiosity and wisdom was truly a gift. To be the center of my own Universe and have that be good was healthy for me. This was the first of many experiences for me to be listened to in such a way.
After that, I realized the continued importance of having someone listen who would be objective and not invested in my outcome. Someone who wasn’t a friend or a family member, but a person who could just “Be” with me as I rolled through the ups and downs of life. Eventually, this led me to the Barbara Brennan School of Healing where we learned “listening”, “contact”, “witnessing, experiencing and asking” as foundational skills to be a healer. While I attended the school I did at least the required 18 personal therapy sessions a year, usually more. I found that in the space of the objective listener, that my mind opened and I could see opportunities for change unleash my restrictive conscious patterns. Areas where I felt pain, cleared up, and my heart connected with new friends, community and my relationships expanded. I learned to be with others in 1:1 relationships and also in the midst of a group process, able to hold space for others and I heard and recovered their stories.
With this great expansion of listening, other teachings caught my attention…. Hakomi- which is a Masters Level teaching in Organic Unfolding with most of the students being in the field of Psychotherapy or Integrative healing. In this School, I finally understood that no internal experience was bad or good, but rather a learning opportunity as part of my experience as a human being. The listening techniques used in Hakomi are soft, gentle and support the unfolding of the essence of each session. It was a miracle that I could study these learnings and share them with others. It was a blessing to be able to incorporate these skills into my daily life.
Other techniques or schools that drew me in were the Upledger Institute with Somato-Emotional Release and courses with Pat Ogden to learn about trauma. In both of the fields, the emphasis again was listening and encouraging self-authority and empowerment. I loved learning about listening and just taking the present moment. There is always a teacher is you are wanting to learn and grow.
With all of this and much more study than I mentioned, I learned that when my clients come in, that I could now provide a rich and Sacred Space environment where people could speak, express, dance, hide, or shout without judgment to the best of my ability. It is in this gentle process, that clients lie on the table and can allow their body’s, their energy dynamics and their voice to be heard with compassion in a space of deep listening. With listening, I can take in the stories on a verbal cue. But what most excites me is the journey into silence and connection. When people are available to listen, people can come closer together in the most profound touching of the souls. Two can become One, and One becomes Zero.
When I saw that Carolyn Myss had written the above quote, I thought to myself, “how well said”. We each need somebody to listen to us objectively and to then ask us inquiry that will nurture us as the creative force is born within.
In this day and age, I wonder how it would be to live in a world where people truly listened, where all cultures and religions dropped their divisive beliefs so that we could all take in the beauty of each other and remove all the obstacles that we believe and adhere to that keep us one step farther from God.
The Sacred Witness… What would it be like to sit in silence each day and develop this skill even further?
Sharon Hartnett LMT, SI, CST
(614) 372-6598
I thank all my teachers who have ever listened to me with a sympathetic ear, and given me an opportunity to mature and evolve.