Avoiding your pain at all costs?
My guess is that most people would prefer not to feel their pain. It makes sense though, doesn’t it? Who would want to feel pain? Perhaps-that’s why we have so many defense mechanisms in place to supposedly protect us. We are like walking miracles where much of our pain is suppressed…. until it resurfaces or is found out!
Feeling Deeply into Pain to Heal
When people come in for a massage at my office, they are usually feeling some type of discomfort or pain that continues to call for attention. I often hear about chronic pain that doesn’t resolve and the stress and sleep deprivation that makes things even worst. My clients biggest wish is they would like to feel better. Yet, it’s hard to do this alone when we have learned to avoid our pain. Whether you go to a Massage Therapist, a Psychotherapist, a Chiropractor, whoever, it’s good to receive help from another perspective. You may not find the solution up front, but if you stay with it, and trust your own inner sense to guide you, you will get help that best suits your individual needs.
As a licensed Massage Therapist for 18 years, my observation after working with many clients, is that the truth is that the longer we are organized against feeling the “soft” pain, all the energy that is kept in protection to support this dynamic, starts to lose it ability to keep us separated from the pain. Eventually, the pain seeps through and one symptom start to show up, and another and another. Pain is only meant to be temporary to let us know when we are in real danger. Afterwards, we need to learn to shake it off or process it efficiently.
When I first started working, I was drawn toward Structural Integration Work, developed by Dr. Ida Rolf. When I received my first 10 sessions of this myofascial therapy, I felt great. In my thinking and experience, working with fascia became key to gaining a sense of wellbeing. Working with releasing dysfunctional fascial patterns has helped many of my clients release pain and find better posture. Then I found myself attracted to Energy Therapy. I know this sounds far out to many people, but in fact everything is made out of energy. Some people are born with a gift to perceive it and work with healing, and others can learn this. So I attended the Barbara Brennan School to study Brennan Healing Science. While there, I learned that soft pain was held in the Human Energy Field. There are many tools a “healer” can use to facilitate healing this way: clearing energy, charging the field, helping clients to awaken to their “Inner Wisdom”. As with most Massage Therapists, I went on to study another course to study “Hakomi” to add to my toolbox. Most of my class mates were Social Workers, Psychotherapists and such, but I enjoyed learning new and deeper skills to help people with emotional pain based on beliefs that were long held. Hakomi is an organic and gentle type of therapy that is kind and organic. The compassionate standpoint of this work has helped my clients try new things without any judgment or harshness. My last great passion was to study at the Upledger Institute, to gain a more extensive understanding of how to work with the brain, the Craniosacral System, and SomatoEmotional Release. With all of this and more said and done, what I have realized is that people have unique make-ups of how they run their living patterns. When they become stuck on one level, if it is not able to be cleared, pain stays in that system. So if someone truly wants to heal, they need to meet that place of suffering and/or pain with an open heart and a willingness to feel the “soft” pain in order to transform it.
Loving our pain is not a new concept, but I suppose most people might not have thought about it this way. All things are derived from Love. Our defenses only kick in because something is painful in the moment and we did not find a way to complete itself. Yet the mind, body, spirit connection is always waiting to complete itself into the next cycle of growth. So whether you come in and need deep fascial or muscle work, or light touch, give yourself a chance to work with a therapist long-term to explore your relationship to pain and finding ways to release it. In my opinion, the easiest way to feel good is to acknowledge what is present and feel it at your comfort level until the patterns dissolve. Using a SomatoEmotional approach can be very telling, as the body is always dialoguing what it needs, if we only listen and respect what is communicated.
Sometimes, during a first session, even after all this time, I am not spot-on, but I do learn something with every touch, sound, and exchange. I gain knowledge and compassion for the highest good of my clients on my table. So we try many different approaches to resolving pain issues, and happily I can say that I have seen many clients leave my office astounded by how much better they feel. But it’s important to remember that if you are just off the table, the endorphins will wear off, but if you stay with the clarity, staying committed to the work that is needed, and the homework that your MT’s give you, the long-term result are quite possible.
Remember: Love your pain because it is telling you something needs to be addressed. Something deeper than you probably know.
Imagine your life if you stopped thinking pain was “bad’ and learned to flow and dance with it in life.
It might actually change into something special!
Sharon Hartnett LMT
740 966-5153